Over the past few weeks as we’ve discussed the nursery, I’ve informed Jon that I would paint the walls. I told him that I’ve done a lot of painting and I don’t have to cover the floors or tape off the trim. So, whenever he’s talked to his family about the nursery, he mentions that I’m doing the painting because I keep bragging about what an expert I am and how he’d probably screw it up (according to my standards). And what’s the argument there?
This afternoon he came home from work and I was painting around the top of the wall and around the windows.
“Wow, you are the shit when it comes to painting!”
“Shut up before I come down and kick your butt.”
“I’m just saying, you don’t have to tape or anything. You’re a bad Mo Fo!”
“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you, but you keep making fun of me.”
“Oh, I’m making fun of you now.”
And right then is when I shoved the paintbrush straight up his butt. And no, I didn’t have to tape it off or anything. I guess he was right.
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Public Service Announcement
A small bit of advice for the viewing public:
When you pre-heat the oven for dinner, make sure you remove the leftover cupcakes you stashed in the oven because you were in a hurry. The good news is, if you forget, the smell will remind you.
When you pre-heat the oven for dinner, make sure you remove the leftover cupcakes you stashed in the oven because you were in a hurry. The good news is, if you forget, the smell will remind you.
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
Citizen Award - The Hit and Run Driver
This week’s Outstanding Citizen Award goes to the anonymous driver who side swiped my husband’s car while he was at work yesterday. I use “anonymous” not to protect your identity, but because it’s a mystery. Your humility must have compelled you to keep your identity unknown, lest you receive too much praise and recognition for such an exemplary display of character. Thank you for the integrity you showed by not stopping once you hit his car, dented the side, and left the mark of your behavior along the length of the vehicle. It takes courage to step up and accept the consequences of our behavior- and for that, I award you this honor.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Kind of like a cakewalk... only with stomping.
This week marks the end of my second trimester of pregnancy. Before I move into the third and final trimester- the one where exhaustion returns, leg cramps, backaches, and all number of discomforts begin… oh yeah, and the one where my body expands like a tick in a blood bank… before that one begins, I thought I’d give a pregnancy report before the full effect of pregnancy begins.
Every time a woman asks me about the pregnancy, I find myself censoring my response to some degree- especially if that woman has her own children. Why? Because most pregnancies aren’t easy. Most involve weeks of hunching over the commode. As if morning sickness wouldn’t be enough, imagine what it would be like to shove your face in a toilet every day. Some women spend weeks, if not months of their pregnancies this way. So, when a woman asks me how I’ve been feeling, I usually respond with “good” and leave it at that. I’m sure they don’t want to hear that besides those two weeks in early pregnancy where my stomach was a little uneasy (no toilet lunging), that I’ve actually felt great. I want to be careful not to rub that in with anyone lest they curse me with wishes of a lengthy and painful labor and delivery. Although I don’t know any women with black cauldrons in their basement, I do know women who pray. And it probably wouldn’t be some payback prayer either. They’d probably word it in such a sweet and sincere way as to request that God would “bless” me with the full pregnancy experience so that I will be even more grateful and appreciative when it’s all over. Trust me, I’m thankful.
I do take a daily beating from this baby boy. All day long. I seriously wonder if he ever sleeps. If he does, he must sleep walk already. Most women start feeling their babies move around 18-20 weeks. He started around week 14. As I sit here typing, he’s thumping and kicking away. And no, he won’t be tired after 30 minutes of this. Because in 15 minutes when I go to bed, he’ll kick into high gear. Why should I sleep if he’s awake, right? So, I’ll lie in bed for a good 30-40 minutes until my stomach stops gyrating and contorting before I’m able to fall asleep. Then, after each of my 3-4 bathroom trips in the middle of the night, he’ll start again each time I return to bed. Everyone keeps telling me to get plenty of rest now because there won’t be much sleep in the several weeks after he’s born. These people apparently haven’t tried to rest while someone is thumping and kicking their insides.
I’ve tried to read some tips on sleeping better. One is to get on the floor on all fours and to curl my back up like a cat several times. This is suppose to help the circulation in my legs, relax the baby in utero, and help with lower back pain. It was recommended that I do like 30-40 of these in a row. I tried, but quickly feared rug burn on my face after six months of not lifting weights or exercising my arms, coupled with the 30 extra pounds of weight I’m holding up. I think I did 10. Drinking a glass of milk was also recommended, so I had a bowl of ice cream after I hauled myself off the floor. We’ll see how tonight goes.
Every time a woman asks me about the pregnancy, I find myself censoring my response to some degree- especially if that woman has her own children. Why? Because most pregnancies aren’t easy. Most involve weeks of hunching over the commode. As if morning sickness wouldn’t be enough, imagine what it would be like to shove your face in a toilet every day. Some women spend weeks, if not months of their pregnancies this way. So, when a woman asks me how I’ve been feeling, I usually respond with “good” and leave it at that. I’m sure they don’t want to hear that besides those two weeks in early pregnancy where my stomach was a little uneasy (no toilet lunging), that I’ve actually felt great. I want to be careful not to rub that in with anyone lest they curse me with wishes of a lengthy and painful labor and delivery. Although I don’t know any women with black cauldrons in their basement, I do know women who pray. And it probably wouldn’t be some payback prayer either. They’d probably word it in such a sweet and sincere way as to request that God would “bless” me with the full pregnancy experience so that I will be even more grateful and appreciative when it’s all over. Trust me, I’m thankful.
I do take a daily beating from this baby boy. All day long. I seriously wonder if he ever sleeps. If he does, he must sleep walk already. Most women start feeling their babies move around 18-20 weeks. He started around week 14. As I sit here typing, he’s thumping and kicking away. And no, he won’t be tired after 30 minutes of this. Because in 15 minutes when I go to bed, he’ll kick into high gear. Why should I sleep if he’s awake, right? So, I’ll lie in bed for a good 30-40 minutes until my stomach stops gyrating and contorting before I’m able to fall asleep. Then, after each of my 3-4 bathroom trips in the middle of the night, he’ll start again each time I return to bed. Everyone keeps telling me to get plenty of rest now because there won’t be much sleep in the several weeks after he’s born. These people apparently haven’t tried to rest while someone is thumping and kicking their insides.
I’ve tried to read some tips on sleeping better. One is to get on the floor on all fours and to curl my back up like a cat several times. This is suppose to help the circulation in my legs, relax the baby in utero, and help with lower back pain. It was recommended that I do like 30-40 of these in a row. I tried, but quickly feared rug burn on my face after six months of not lifting weights or exercising my arms, coupled with the 30 extra pounds of weight I’m holding up. I think I did 10. Drinking a glass of milk was also recommended, so I had a bowl of ice cream after I hauled myself off the floor. We’ll see how tonight goes.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
