That’s what I’d call a movie about my life right now. And yes, I have seen the new Indiana Jones movie. Jon and I saw it yesterday, on the way home from vacation. Wait, let me write that word again- vacation. Vacation. Vacation. I’m saying it out loud and am clicking my heels as I type. If this entry stops abruptly, you’ll know my endeavor was successful. If not, then by the time you finish reading you may understand my erratic behavior and will offer to enroll me in the Liquor of the Month club. There is one. I checked. So, while you browse the site and choose the gift plan you’d like to enroll me in (tequila), I’ll tell you about my hollow head.
First, I’d like to apologize for my lack of blogging lately. Again. Yes, life has been full of activity- out of town guests, wedding plans, looking for a house. There’s been a lot to do, but honestly there IS usually time for me to blog. Time, yes. Mental energy, no. Every day is now full of an array of decisions- what kind of cake frosting, who’ll play the ceremony music, where to take a honeymoon, how do we find another seat in the church for one more person, tube top or spaghetti straps? Decisions, decisions! We’ve also been doing pre-marital counseling. What are three things you’d list as wishes for him to do? What do you think are your relationship strengths? Weaknesses? Decisions, decisions! Did I mention we are buying a house and closing in a week? So, now bridal registry decisions are complicated by color scheme decisions. I’m making decisions on rugs, shower curtains, tablecloths. I haven’t been to the grocery store in almost a month because I’m afraid I’ll snap when they ask me “paper or plastic?” I already know right now that I’d choose paper, but I’d be standing right there in the grocery line, browsing the candy bars (some people look at the magazines, I look at the chocolate), and suddenly they’d ask me for a decision and I’d snap. And break down. And cry. And start eating Reeses right there and they’d all look at each other and finally call security to get the crazily unstable lady who’s yelling “paper or plastic? paper or plastic?” with a mouthful of peanut butter and chocolate. I’ve been eating out a lot.
So, vacation was like therapy. Except it was relatively free. And no one wrote stuff down as I talked. Or asked me about my mother. Or made me cry. But other than that, it was just like therapy. Only something happened. I realized two days in that my brain had indeed been seeping out my pores over the past several weeks. For some, sweat would have been the first assumption, but I’m convinced I’ve been leaking brain fluid. Why? Because on vacation, I was suddenly incompetent. Incompetent, directionally challenged, and incapable of functioning normally. I didn’t know where we were going half the time. I asked idiotic questions. I was on vacation and I was stupid. On the fourth day, I finally had to try and convince Jon that I wasn’t normally that incompetent. I’m normally the one people look to for decision-making. Maybe I finally collapsed on the safety net of having someone else to look to for decision-making, for competency. But for seven days, I was brainless. Brainless because my brain had rebelled against me. It was tired and it went on a seven-day smoke break. So we’re back from vacation and my brain has decided to come back (sort of). But now I’m on the nicotine patch, so keep your expectations low!
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