Jen's Perspective on Those First Dates

Jon recently shared with you where we had our first three dates. And like you, I gained a little insight into his perspective during those dates. To complement his story, I’d like to share my perspective.

Date Number One: Fido Coffee House
I’ll be honest, Jon seemed like a nice guy via e-mail and I could tell he was intelligent and witty (two traits I appreciate greatly), but I did not want to go on this date. If you’ve never done online dating, you probably aren’t aware of the mass quantity of first dates there are. A LOT. And for a woman, that means one thing- a lot of time and maintenance on hair, clothes and make-up. It gets exhausting and sometimes you just want to show up in your sweats and a ball cap. Which may be why I literally stomped my feet on the way out the door in a bratty-like declaration that I did not want to go. This date, to me, was another first date with little expectation for a second, which would mean I had invested way too much mirror time for nothing. I walked in Fido and stood at the counter to wait on Jonathan. When he walked around the end of the bar I noticed he was much cuter than his profile picture and I was thankful I didn’t wear my sweats. He bought me a hot cider and we sat down and started talking. It didn’t take me long to realize (a) it felt natural to talk to him, (b) his movie knowledge was impressive, and (c) in hindsight, he was sneaky in stealing glances at my cleavage (which, I’m confident played a factor in asking me on date number two!).

Between date number one and date number two, Jon and I realized we were playing in the same softball league, on different teams. The world is indeed small. We finally worked out a time for a second date and I was impressed he suggested Rumours Wine Bar. Not because it’s hip, or that it involved wine, but because it wasn’t Bubba’s Beer Barn and that meant he had some level of class.

Date Number Two: Rumours Wine Bar
Once again, we had great conversation over wine and crab cakes- but during this date, I was already trying to access whether (a) I wanted to go on another date with him, (b) I felt enough romantic chemistry with him (hard to tell after two glasses of wine), and (c) if his last name sounded good with mine (it’s a girl thing). He was chivalrous enough to walk me to my car (a good sign), but since I still didn’t know him well, I wanted to be sure he knew I could take him out (in case he tried anything funny). So, I told him about my martial arts training. He stepped back.

“So, could you kick me in the head?”

“Yeah. I can.”

And frankly, based on the look on his face that night, I’m surprised he asked me out again. Driving home from that date, I felt uncertain about the whole situation. It wasn’t that I found anything wrong with Jon, I just couldn’t determine my own feelings. As I was processing through my thoughts and feelings, it was as if God smacked me right on the head and said, this man is the right one. Hmmm, I thought. Really? ‘Cause I’m not sure, Lord. And as unsure as I was about my own feelings (and would be for several months), I was never unsure that God had asked me to wait and to trust Him.

Date Number Three: Little Miss Sunshine and South Street
Since we both love movies, it was only appropriate that our third date was to “Little Miss Sunshine”. I don’t typically like going to movies on the first few dates because there isn’t much you can learn about a person while you sit silently for two hours. But, I did learn a few things about Jon on this date. (a) He appreciates weird humor, (b) he soaks up details like a sponge (movie lines, character names, directors of movies, the name of Steve Carell’s wardrobe coordinator)- it’s scary how much this man knows! and (c) he is creative (because he took me to South Street for dinner – instead of a standard choice like Chili’s or O’Charleys- and I would have been happy with either of those, but I appreciated something different).
At South Street, he had me try fried cheesecake for the first time and any man who suggested dessert is a man I could live with every day.

And the story goes on with more dates of golf, playing darts, tennis, dancing, and many other random activities we have enjoyed together. Even though I had a hard time letting myself have feelings for Jon, I was always confident that God was at work and that He was going to work all things together for our good. Sitting at dinner with my friend (long before I fell in love with Jon), she commented that she just wanted to know what was going to happen with us. “We’ll fall in love, get married, have children, and live happily ever after,” I said. And as much as I’d like to know all that mirror-time paid off, I have to give God the credit.

A stroll down memory lane (with caffeine and FOOD!)

Since I haven't had much time to blog because of the approaching wedding (July 26), I decided to transfer a couple of posts from mine and Jon's wedding blog we are keeping, mostly for out of town guests who will be visiting Nashville. Jon wrote the following post about our first three dates. I followed with a post about my perspective, which I'll share tomorrow.

A stroll down memory lane (with caffeine and FOOD!)
Quite a few of you may not know much about the beginning of our relationship, other than that we met on Match.com. Three places figured prominently in the beginning of the relationship and also in my plans for proposing to Jen. If you would like to do a tribute to us, you could always visit the following three locations in Nashville.

Our first date occurred at Fido, a local coffee house near Vanderbilt. After corresponding with each other via e-mail, it was time to actually meet. So, I chose Fido because: (a) it was a public place in case Jen turned out to be a psycho, and (b) there was a ready source of caffeine in case Jen turned out to be boring. We met and had a wonderful first date, talking comfortably with each other. I knew after talking with Jen that: (a) I was attracted to her, (b) she was not a psycho, and (c) I was going to ask her for a second date [note (b)].

So, our 2nd date was at Rumours Wine Bar. I knew that Jen was Baptist and if she didn’t drink alcohol I would have no problem with that. I can say this now because we’re getting married, but this was a test. I wanted to know whether she could handle being with a Lutheran, one who was raised in the fine tradition of Luther himself (who enjoyed his beer). Jen had no problem meeting at Rumours and once again we enjoyed a night of great conversation. During our conversation I learned that she has a fourth degree blue belt in Tae Kwon Do, which made me realize that: (a) she could beat me up if she wanted to (cardio kickboxing is not going to be much help against real martial arts), and (b) she could also defend me if she needed to (see cardio kickboxing). I was nervous, intrigued, and impressed by this knowledge, which meant one thing: a 3rd date!

The 3rd date was quite traditional: a movie and dinner. However, the movie and restaurant were not as traditional – “Little Miss Sunshine” and dining at South Street. If you know anything about “Little Miss Sunshine”, it’s a movie that rewards a sense of humor that is slightly askew, i.e. mine. When I heard Jen laughing during the movie, I knew that this relationship could go somewhere. After the movie, we enjoyed a wonderful time eating at South Street.

The tale of our engagement will be the subject of a later post, but it involved these three venues. I highly recommend any of them if you have free time. If you decide to go to South Street for a meal, you must save room for their New Orleans bread pudding with Jack Daniels sauce – it’s SO DELICIOUS. Just thinking about it is making me hungry.

If I were a chain smoker, this would be one long smoke break!

Maybe you're checking this blog for the first time. If so, you're in luck. There's an archive of much about nothing you can catch up on. Maybe you're one of the faithful few who check regularly, and for that I'd like to say, "bless your heart, you must be really bored." Or, if you are truly faithful, you have this on your blog roll and I'm sure I've been at the bottom of the totem pole lately. And suddenly, today... today a new post pops up and now there are expectations. Expectations only lead to disappointment. You should know that. And here it is.

I'm not even sure what day it is these days. I try not to look at the calendar because when I do, I realize how few days there are until Jon and I bound ourselves contractually to one another, and I hyperventilate. Not because of the marriage itself, but because there are a bazillion details to take care of before the wedding. Having OCD has it's price. It's called sanity.

As much as you would like to have something more exciting to read, I would like to have the brain power and energy to write it. Though if it were a choice between the brain power and a good margarita, I'd have to live with being stupid and tired all the time.