Jon recently shared with you where we had our first three dates. And like you, I gained a little insight into his perspective during those dates. To complement his story, I’d like to share my perspective.
Date Number One: Fido Coffee House
I’ll be honest, Jon seemed like a nice guy via e-mail and I could tell he was intelligent and witty (two traits I appreciate greatly), but I did not want to go on this date. If you’ve never done online dating, you probably aren’t aware of the mass quantity of first dates there are. A LOT. And for a woman, that means one thing- a lot of time and maintenance on hair, clothes and make-up. It gets exhausting and sometimes you just want to show up in your sweats and a ball cap. Which may be why I literally stomped my feet on the way out the door in a bratty-like declaration that I did not want to go. This date, to me, was another first date with little expectation for a second, which would mean I had invested way too much mirror time for nothing. I walked in Fido and stood at the counter to wait on Jonathan. When he walked around the end of the bar I noticed he was much cuter than his profile picture and I was thankful I didn’t wear my sweats. He bought me a hot cider and we sat down and started talking. It didn’t take me long to realize (a) it felt natural to talk to him, (b) his movie knowledge was impressive, and (c) in hindsight, he was sneaky in stealing glances at my cleavage (which, I’m confident played a factor in asking me on date number two!).
Between date number one and date number two, Jon and I realized we were playing in the same softball league, on different teams. The world is indeed small. We finally worked out a time for a second date and I was impressed he suggested Rumours Wine Bar. Not because it’s hip, or that it involved wine, but because it wasn’t Bubba’s Beer Barn and that meant he had some level of class.
Date Number Two: Rumours Wine Bar
Once again, we had great conversation over wine and crab cakes- but during this date, I was already trying to access whether (a) I wanted to go on another date with him, (b) I felt enough romantic chemistry with him (hard to tell after two glasses of wine), and (c) if his last name sounded good with mine (it’s a girl thing). He was chivalrous enough to walk me to my car (a good sign), but since I still didn’t know him well, I wanted to be sure he knew I could take him out (in case he tried anything funny). So, I told him about my martial arts training. He stepped back.
“So, could you kick me in the head?”
“Yeah. I can.”
And frankly, based on the look on his face that night, I’m surprised he asked me out again. Driving home from that date, I felt uncertain about the whole situation. It wasn’t that I found anything wrong with Jon, I just couldn’t determine my own feelings. As I was processing through my thoughts and feelings, it was as if God smacked me right on the head and said, this man is the right one. Hmmm, I thought. Really? ‘Cause I’m not sure, Lord. And as unsure as I was about my own feelings (and would be for several months), I was never unsure that God had asked me to wait and to trust Him.
Date Number Three: Little Miss Sunshine and South Street
Since we both love movies, it was only appropriate that our third date was to “Little Miss Sunshine”. I don’t typically like going to movies on the first few dates because there isn’t much you can learn about a person while you sit silently for two hours. But, I did learn a few things about Jon on this date. (a) He appreciates weird humor, (b) he soaks up details like a sponge (movie lines, character names, directors of movies, the name of Steve Carell’s wardrobe coordinator)- it’s scary how much this man knows! and (c) he is creative (because he took me to South Street for dinner – instead of a standard choice like Chili’s or O’Charleys- and I would have been happy with either of those, but I appreciated something different).
At South Street, he had me try fried cheesecake for the first time and any man who suggested dessert is a man I could live with every day.
And the story goes on with more dates of golf, playing darts, tennis, dancing, and many other random activities we have enjoyed together. Even though I had a hard time letting myself have feelings for Jon, I was always confident that God was at work and that He was going to work all things together for our good. Sitting at dinner with my friend (long before I fell in love with Jon), she commented that she just wanted to know what was going to happen with us. “We’ll fall in love, get married, have children, and live happily ever after,” I said. And as much as I’d like to know all that mirror-time paid off, I have to give God the credit.
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