"Gotta go"

I think I must have a bladder the size of a hummingbird. If only I could say that about my thighs! I’m amazed when friends tell me they only go to the bathroom two or three times a day (why I have these conversations with people, I don’t really know). Seriously? Two or three times A DAY? I’m worried these people may be considerably dehydrated. I go that many times an hour. (Is this one of those TMI moments? … Too Much Information?)

There are benefits to frequent restroom use. Like, I can tell you the places in town that have the nicest and nastiest bathrooms. Maggianos… they have a really nice bathroom. If it weren’t for hygiene issues, I’d be fine having my meal served in there. The Las Palmas on Hayes Street… I could skip all together. This is a single bathroom that always has some lingering smell. Plus, it’s right next to the kitchen. There is something very wrong about that. Ironic I’d say, since I just said I’d take my Maggiano’s meal in their bathroom. I digress.

Remember that commercial, “gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now,” as the woman dances around trying not to pee her pants? I empathize. I think she has a hyperactive bladder though. At least “their” solution is some kind of drug. Or maybe it’s for adult diapers. Either way, I don’t need either. I just drink a lot. Like that whole up/down deal, what goes in, must come out.

I guess it’s really not that big of an inconvenience… well, unless I’m on a road trip, or in a movie, or a meeting, or horseback riding, or too broke to afford the extra toilet paper. But, other than those times…

Supposedly it gets worse as you get older… or pregnant… or obese- all viable options for me at this point. I could stop drinking so much, but then my hair would dry out, my nails would be brittle, and my skin would get wrinkled. Plus, I’d be thirsty. Going to the bathroom frequently ain’t all that bad. Bottoms up!