Thursday, June 19, 2008

A Dating Deal Breaker

Yesterday I mentioned men and Bart Simpson décor. It reminded me of a story that I’d like to use to make a public service announcement to all guys (especially single ones) who come across this blog.

Before I met Jon, I briefly dated another guy. The operative word being “briefly” and you’ll soon understand. If you’re a woman, you’ll understand. Guys may still be clueless in the end.

On one of our first few dates, I went to his house so we could ride to his softball game together. He was three years younger than I, but seemed mature enough. He owned a house, had a car, and a good job. Those are the things he gets credit for. Those three.
When I drove up, he had his garage door open and I could see several Star Wars character cardboard standees in the garage. No need for alarm. He was a guy, and well… guys keep crap like that. I mean, I’m a fan of Star Wars, but what does a person do with things like that? I digress. When he opened the door and led me through the house, I literally had to step over piles of clothes on the floor. Seriously guys, let’s stop here. If you have planned a date with a woman and you KNOW she’s coming to your house, the VERY least you need to do is pick your crap up off the floor. I don’t want to encourage this type of behavior, but if you’re desperate, throw it in a closet, under the bed, in the bathtub… I don’t care- just don’t leave it all over the floor. To this guy’s credit (because I like to give credit where it is due), all of his crap wasn’t on the floor. Some of it was on his couch. We couldn’t sit down until he cleared a spot for us. Not cool, guys. Not cool.

Even though my OCD kicked into overdrive and my pulse rate went up, I kept reminding myself that some habits are not deal-breakers. That was, until he showed me his bathroom… his Bart Simpson themed bathroom. I’m not just talking about a shower curtain and bath mat- I mean the WHOLE bathroom. The color of the walls, the toothbrush and soap holders, towels, EVERYTHING. And how I felt at the moment is how I imagine a woman feels when she goes in to mail a letter and sees a black and white mug shot of her boyfriend on the Post Office wall.

For the next couple of months, I tried to focus on this man’s finer qualities, but I swear his physical appearance started to change because all I could see when I looked at him was Bart Simpson. As far as I know, he’s still single. Take notes, guys. Take notes.

3 comments:

Cherilyn said...

I was hoping you would tell this story after I saw the Bart Simpson mention yesterday. Oh, I still think it's so funny!

Jen Stadler said...

Oh, it's funny now. But then? Then it was just plain scary.

Kristi said...

How did I not know about this?
I mean, I thought we were friends...