No Habla Espanol

The following is a conversation that I have on a weekly basis with my friend Tammy.

My phone rings.

“Hola, Senorita Suggs.” (That’s how I have her creatively stored in my phone.)

“Hola, chica. Como estas?”

*Silence

“Uhhh… umm… (insert a light snicker)…. Hmmmm.”
*More silence
“Why do you do that?! You know I don’t speak Spanish!”