Got No Game

In order to not waste a perfectly beautiful afternoon, my roommate and I walked to the park at the end of the neighborhood to shoot some hoops. Or as my sister likes to say “thump some rock.” I’m not sure what that means and I think it’s probably used mainly in the black community. And, since I can assure you that my basketball playing is so far from the natural athleticism of African-Americans, even “shooting hoops” is stretching the truth. So basically we walked down to the courts and threw the ball at a fishing net on a pole. I did win our game of P-I-G, which I’m pretty sure is the white man’s contribution to the game of basketball.

Within a few minutes of our arrival on the courts, a little league game was forming on the baseball field next to us. And this is just what you want when you’re a white girl with no game… in your 30’s… trying to shoot hoops- an audience. Joy. It wasn’t long before a little white girl (who was around six years old) came up and stared eagerly at us. I turned toward her and I swear I could see my basketball gleaming in her eye.
“Do you want to shoot?” I asked.
“No. I just like to dribble.”
So, I handed her the ball and was glad to see someone more awkward than myself on the court. Yeah, I know she was six- shut up! So anyway… she’s dribbling the ball around and I said, “Is your brother playing baseball?” She nodded to affirm the fact. Then I had a really genius moment when I asked her which team her brother was on, at the same exact moment, realizing there was an ALL black team… and an ALL white team. I’m a great conversationalist! I did better with my next question when I asked what position her brother played.
“He plays catch… (I’m already looking toward the catcher when she finished with…) catching the ball. With a glove.”
Well that narrows it down.
“In the grass?” (outfield or infield?)
“Yeah. Not in the grass.”
You know what, I should probably end this conversation, I thought. “So, he plays on a base.” I said definitively. And that was that.
Then her mom came over and asked her to go back to the playground because she was suppose to stay with her other little friend. “The buddy system,” I declared to her mom. “I came with a buddy.” Yeah, I said it. I said it and wanted to thump the rock with my head because I can be that embarrassing to myself.